In April 1993, my husband and I had just completed our adoption ofGuatemalan-born Marina, and we were settling in as a family. Little didpoor Sean know that I was already researching our second adoption! I knewthat it would be at least a year before we could get started due to thecosts involved in mounting the adventure a second time, but I beganresearching agencies and programs. This time, I was determined to find aprogram that would be affordable, i.e., about $10,000 not including travelexpenses. Sean and I had a few brief discussions on the subject, andalthough we decided we wanted a son, and that he should be between the agesof 1 and 2 years, we left the other factors up to fate.

I must have read the I.C.C.C.'s 1994 Report on Foreign Adoptionsone hundred times, and called and/or written to 25 agencies by mid-1994. Icombed through the information, isolating possible programs and countriesthat fit what we were looking for. And everything I saw was discouraging.It seemed that it would be at least two more years before we could afford asecond adoption. I called and spoke with Hemlata that summer about myfrustration, and she told me that Bal Jagat (Chatsworth, CA) was beginningits Romanian program at about the same time I called her. The children werehealthy, in the right age frame for us, and the cost was one we couldhandle. Fate had struck again!

Our home study was completed in November 1994, and we gathered thepaperwork that was required by Romania. I was surprised and relieved at howsimple the requirements were compared to those of Guatemala. We didn't haveto stand in line at the Romanian Embassy here in the U.S., or deal withtranslations and other problems. We were still gathering our paperwork whenwe received a call from Barbara Kappos, the local coordinator of theRomanian program. She told us that a young boy was available from one ofthe three orphanages with which Bal Jagat was working. Were we interested?Of course we were, and we rushed our paperwork to Romania as we awaited apicture from the orphanage. But at Christmas, his mother decided to reclaimhim from the orphanage, and he was no longer available for adoption.

Undaunted, we told Barbara to keep looking. And about six weekslater, we had a picture of the child that was to become our son Andrew. Welearned what little information was available, and decided almostimmediately that the one year old would be ours. A couple more months wentby while I waited for word of when I should travel. When that word came, Iwas so excited. Sean was unable to travel, and I originally planned totravel alone. Three weeks before I was set to leave, my mother-in-law askedif she could accompany me to Romania. I was grateful for her decision, andwas happy to share the experience with her. I would be leaving two daysbefore her, and promised her that I would be at the airport with hergrandson on the day she was to arrive.

The flight to Romania in late April was long and uneventful. TheDelta flight left LAX over two hours late, and I was fearful that I wouldmiss the connecting flight from Frankfort, Germany. There was only oneflight per day into Bucharest, Romania, and I was to travel to Brasov topick up Andrew the day after I was set to arrive. If I missed thatconnection in Frankfort, it would throw off the entire timetable. To makematters worse, the usual tailwinds to Germany were headwinds, and wearrived even later than expected. Fortunately, the Vienna flight was heldfor our arrival, and so I landed in Romania as scheduled, about 16 hoursafter leaving LAX.

I arrived at the Bucharest Otopeni Airport at about 6:00 p.m., andafter explaining that I was in the country to visit friends, and would bestaying in a private apartment, I was granted permission to enter for tendays. (Americans do not have to pay for a visa to enter the country, sodon't stand in the visa line--proceed directly to what is called PassportControl.) The man behind the window who issued permission to enter Romaniawas unfailingly polite, and spoke Romanian, German, French and English.After dragging my luggage out to the main area of the airport (I had notchanged money, so I could not rent a luggage cart) I was greeted by ViviIliescu, her daughter Magda and Dan, our driver. Dan took the luggage andMagda, and I rode into the city with Vivi. I was immediately comfortablewith Vivi, a warm and wonderful woman who made my stay there easier than Ihad ever expected. She watched over us like a mother hen, calling eachnight to check on us, unfailingly negotiating the Romanian bureaucracy, andmaking the experience as enjoyable and simple as possible.

I had trouble sleeping that night due to the excitement of thetrip, and the knowledge that the next morning we would be traveling toBrasov to meet Andrew. The apartment I was staying in had large frenchwindows overlooking the quiet street, and I opened the windows wide andlistened to the wind blowing through the trees.

When I next opened my eyes, it was 7:00 a.m. Vivi and Dan arrivedat 10:00 a.m., and we set off for Brasov. It was a long, winding three hourdrive in each direction. We left the plains of Bucharest after one hour,and began climbing into the foothills of the Carpathian Mountains.Bucharest had been sunny and warm, with the countryside cherry trees inbloom. As we began our climb, the warm sunny conditions were replaced witha chilly breeze and very little green vegetation. Brasov, with its medievaltown center surrounded by dreary concrete block-style buildings, was sunnyand pleasant. We drove down several narrow, brick-paved alleyways, andparked in front of the orphanage.

As we entered, we were met at the door by an assistant, whoescorted us into a small room. We were brought a small pot of Turkish-stylecoffee, and we waited for the assistant to return. I was shaking fromnervousness, although I kept reminding myself that I had done this oncebefore! The assistant returned, paperwork was quickly reviewed by she andVivi, and then she left again. Finally, she came back into the room holdingAndrew. My first thought was "he is so much smaller than we had been told,"and my second thought was "he looks so hungry." And hungry he was. But hewas happy and friendly, and after changing him into clothes I had broughtwith me (which were too big), we left the orphanage. He had his first mealwith me at a small country inn restaurant an hour out of Brasov, and hethen slept the rest of the way into Bucharest.

That first night was rough. We did not have a crib, (or a car seator a highchair, and there are none available for rent) and I was afraid tohave Andrew sleep in bed with me for fear he would fall. Andrew had beenkept in his crib most of his short life, and he spent that first nighttrying to crawl around the bedroom, rocking and crying himself to sleep,then awakening to struggle, rock and cry some more. If I held him he wouldstop crying as long as I held him upright, but if I tried to lay him down,he would start the cycle again. I had read about children that had beeninstitutionalized, and knew that rocking was a common calming device. But Iwas still concerned. The next morning, he was so hungry. He wolfed downwhatever I would feed him, and then cry when the bowl was empty. It washeartbreaking, and this kind of behavior lasted for weeks. It was threeweeks before the rocking stopped, and another week or so before he sloweddown during meals enough to look around while he was eating!

The following morning was Andrew's appointment for the U. S.Embassy's required medical exam. The hospital was barren and almostfrightening by American standards, but the doctor who examined him and drewblood for testing was caring and considerate. That evening we met mymother-in-law at the airport, and spent the next week or so sightseeing,exploring Bucharest. All the while, Vivi was arguing with the passportauthorities, struggling to complete the paperwork and calling us twice aday to make sure we were doing alright. Another medical appointment to pickup the completed paperwork, and another additional wait for the passport,and finally it was time to visit the U.S. Embassy for Andrew's visa. Theworkers at the Embassy in Bucharest were polite and friendly, and took agenuine interest in Andrew and his background. The interview, includingwaiting time, was less than 1 hour, unlike the process in Guatemala, whichrequired two visits and an interminable wait each time.

The only problem arose when we discovered, on the day before wewere to leave, that we needed a visa for Andrew to land in Germany longenough to change planes. We raced to the German Embassy, and learned thatwe had just enough time to apply for and receive the visa. The problem: theembassy insisted we pay for the visa in deutschmarks. But to changeRomanian lei or U.S. dollars into deutschmarks, we needed a Romanianpassport. I didn't have one, Vivi's purse had been stolen the week beforeso she didn't have one, and Andrew's had been left at the German Embassy tocomplete the entry visa! After visiting four money changing places, andbegging and pleading, we finally found someone willing to change the moneyinto deutschmarks. We rushed back to pick up the visa, and Andrew and Iwere set to leave.

And leave we did, on a cold, rainy morning at 7:00 a.m. I was sadto leave Vivi and Magda, but I was told they will be visiting the U.S.again soon. Dan is not so lucky, though. As he is unmarried, and onlyemployed part-time, the U.S. government will not issue him a visa to visit,for fear that he might not return to Romania.

When I compare our two adoption experiences, I must conclude thatAndrew's Romanian adoption was smoother, involved less of a wait, and wasoverall easier than our daughter Marina's Guatemalan adoption.Interestingly, I felt more comfortable in Guatemala as I was able to betterunderstand the language, and I knew that if anything went truly wrong, Iwas only 5 hours away from my husband and parents. In Romania, it wouldhave taken two days to get help if it was needed. But everyone involved inthe Romanian adoption process did their jobs correctly and timely, and Viviwas an absolutely perfect host/facilitator. She was friendly, helpful andgreat company.

Some tips for those of you who will be traveling to Romania. Takejars of baby food and boxes of age-appropriate cereal. Cereal can bepurchased, but it is expensive. Jars of baby food, however, arenon-existent. We ran out of baby food, and bought vegetables to cook andmash. Milk is readily available, as is juice. I would bring all the diapersand wipes you think you will need. Tissue and nice-quality toilet paper arealso great. Things like paper towels, foil and plastic wrap are impossibleto find. There are only one or two stores even close to being similar toour supermarkets, but there are many small shops and open-air markets whereyou can purchase beautiful fresh vegetables, flowers, fruits, meats andbread. The bread is fantastic, and the purple tulips were the most exotic Ihave ever seen! We stayed in an apartment that had a microwave, a stoveand an oven, so we ate many of our meals there.

Try not to travel alone. Ask your spouse, or a friend, or your dadto go with you. It does increase the cost, but it is a relief to havesomeone there who can help you over the inevitable rocky times, the cryingjags, the jet lag, etc. Being alone in a foreign country with a small childcan be overwhelming, and the feeling of isolation can be tough. Mymother-in-law and I would put Andrew to bed at 7:00 p.m., then watch oldmovies on TNT, or "C.H.I.P."s re-runs that were broadcast in English oncable TV. And it was reassuring to know that we could be almost halfwayaround the world and still watch a lousy movie of the week in English!

Generally, the restaurants are disappointing, and tend to servepizza, pork dishes, and odd sandwiches made with some kind of meat, frenchfries, mustard, pickles and ketchup rolled in a pita bread. Tasty, butsalty! It is hard to find traditional Romanian food, but insist that yoube taken to at least one true Romanian restaurant, like Caru Cu Bere. Thereis also a wonderful Chinese restaurant at a classy hotel, Nan Jing, and Iwas able to continue my quest of eating Chinese food in every foreigncountry I have visited--three in all at this point. Taxis are everywhereand reasonably affordable. Things to see include the Village and Folk ArtMuseum (an outdoor museum), Cismigui Gardens, and the area around PiateRevolutiei (Revolutionary Plaza).

We dressed casually most of the time, and comfortable shoes are amust for city exploration. We spent hours each day roaming around the city.We were never harassed, or stared at, and the people tend to be reservedbut polite. Most college students and younger Romanians are very friendly,and will stop and engage you in conversation if they hear you speakingEnglish. A good guidebook is invaluable, but don't believe what they sayabout bringing dollar bills and cigarettes for tips and bribes. I came homewith 47 one dollar bills, and left the cigarettes with the apartment owneras a gift! And don't change too much money at any one time. I do not thinkthat we spent more than $15 per day in meals, shopping taxis, etc., andended up with about $30 dollars worth of lei that could not be exchangedback into dollars. There are many money changing places, some open onSunday, with varying rates. I advise changing money daily to avoid theproblem of having too much lei at the end of your trip.

Andrew has been home with us since early May, and gained 7 poundsin the first 3 months. He began crawling that first day we were together,and walked about 5 weeks later. The circles under his eyes are gone, and henow takes the time to chew before he swallows--of course, the addition ofall his teeth has helped! He is a sunny, cheerful little toddler, withblond hair, brown eyes, and a smile that breaks your heart.

© Vanessa R. Comerford