Know Before You Go

Don’t wait until you get your travel notification to start preparing for your trip! The more organized you are at the outset, the more you can actually enjoy traveling in your child’s birth country.

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Things get forgotten or overlooked when people are stressed or rushed – and you’ll be experiencing both of these feelings when you’re trying to buy airline tickets and get out of the country so you can finally be with your child. While you’re waiting to get your travel call, plan what you need to take in terms of clothing, medicine, and money. Then start collecting these items. You’ll be glad you did when it’s finally time to pack!

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• Passports. Get your passports in order. If they are close to expiring, renew them at once. Many countries will not let you in if your passport is within six months of expiring. There are no rules against renewing your passport early. And if you need a visa to enter your child’s country, get that process underway, too.
• Immunizations. Find out if you should get any immunizations before your trip – call your doctor or log on to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) Website at http://www.cdc.gov/travel/reference.htm. Different vaccinations are suggested for different countries – sometimes even for different regions within the same country. Even if you had some of the suggested immunizations when you were a child, get them again. The efficacy of vaccinations often fades over time, and that cholera shot you had when you were a kid probably stopped protecting you years ago.
• Organize the Paperwork. Purchase a expandable file folder to organize your adoption papers for traveling. Triple check that you have every document that you need to bring with you, and make sure you have photocopies of everything.
• Buy Clothes and Shoes. Shop for and plan out the clothing you’ll wear on your trip. Once you’ve purchased those new shoes, break them in before you get on the plane. Feet swell on long plane trips, making tight new shoes and transcontinental flights a very bad combination. (Trust me on this one – I know about this from personal experience! Before our trip, I bought the coolest shoes that would go with several of the outfits I planned to wear. I wore the shoes on the plane on the trip over to Thailand and after being in the air a few hours decided that I would slip my shoes off because they were starting to pinch. When we finally landed in Bangkok 27 hours later, I quite literally couldn’t get my shoes back on my feet!)
• How’s the Weather? Do some research to find out the typical weather in the region. What are the expected temperatures? When does monsoon season happen? These are things you need to know!
• Network. Talk to other parents who have adopted from your child’s country. Your adoption agency can connect you – just be sure to ask to talk with someone who has recently been there. Adoption Web groups are another great resource, filled with both newbies and old pros. Remember: You can get the real scoop on what your experience will be like from someone who has already experienced it. Travel agents and tourist brochures paint a nice picture, but they probably don’t address the particular concerns you’re facing as a soon-to-be parent.
• Decide Who Will Go With You. If you already have children at home, decide if you will bring them with you. There is no right or wrong answer here. You know your children better than anyone else, and your gut instinct will serve you well. Parents who have faced this decision will tell you that they are happy with whichever decision they made. If you do decide to bring your children along, prepare them for what to expect – educate them on the social customs of the country they will be visiting. If they are going with you, let your children know it will be a VERY long flight and encourage them to be good little helpers. If your children are older, make sure they have a new handheld computer game to occupy them.
• Buy Toys. Search for new travel-sized age-appropriate toys for your child. If you are buying toys for current children, don’t let them see the toys until the trip. A new toy is always a better distraction than a toy they’ve already played with. Look for activity books that have different types of puzzles and stickers. A portable DVD player is one distraction that is good for all ages. Just don’t forget to buy an extra battery or you’ll be hunting for places to charge that darn DVD player during layovers!
• Sightseeing? Decide if you are going to travel a little early to do some sightseeing during your trip. Post to Web groups and read travel books to find out what you shouldn’t miss seeing and what you should simply give a miss.
• Read. Purchase language and culture books and read them ahead of time. Knowledge is power – if you know what will give offence (like sitting with your legs crossed or touching someone on the head) you can avoid committing a faux pas.
• Buy Gifts. Buy gifts for the social workers, foster family, orphanage workers, etc. Ask your agency or other parents who have adopted from that country what was appreciated. It’s hard to go wrong with American or other nice chocolates. Small gift bags of American cosmetics are almost always a hit, too (at least for the females). You don’t need to spend a lot to make these people feel appreciated. Be sure you bring an extra gift or two just in case there are more people than you expected who deserve them.
• Choose Your Words. Now is the time to choose the kind of adoption announcements you want to send out. If you select what you want now, all you’ll have to do when the time comes is fill in the date and your announcements will be set to go. And speaking of dates: Which date will you use on your child’s adoption announcement? The date you first meet him? The date he first stays the night with you? The date the adoption is final? The choice is up to you. Many parents use two, or even three, dates (such as “born in Thailand April 12, 2001; born in our hearts December 10, 2003).
• Learn. Read up on adoption issues like separation and loss in adopted children and attachment disorders. One excellent source is “The Adoptive Parent Preparation Manual” available from the Joint Council on International Children’s Services (www.jcics.org).
• Start a List (or Two). Make a packing list for you and your new child. (Not sure what you should bring? You’re in luck! See “A Few Words About Packing for Your Trip” for detailed packing lists for you and your new child.) Depending on where you are traveling, you may be able to purchase things you forgot or you may not. And if you don’t speak or read the language, how will you really know if what you’re buying is toothpaste or hemorrhoid cream?
• Research. Research the cost of airline tickets to your destination so you won’t be blind-sided by this figure when it comes time to travel.
• Double-Check. You need to make sure your fingerprints and homestudy won’t expire while you’re traveling – these things cannot be updated while you are abroad. If it looks like the timing may be too close for comfort, go ahead and have these things updated now.
• Communicate. Start thinking about how you will communicate with your loved ones back home while you are traveling. Will you rely on cell phones or e-mail? It’s time to research your options so you don’t spend a fortune on last-minute rushed communications.
• Write it Down. Put together a travel journal with all the names, addresses, and phone numbers of your in-country contacts (such as adoption agency workers, embassy information, and hotel information). If you find yourself in a stressful situation where you need this information pronto, you certainly don’t want to have to rummage through all your bags trying to locate it.

Credits: Excerpted from "International Adoption Guidebook," Mary M. Strickert, © 2004