One Family, Two Journeys

A Mother's Thoughts on Chinese and Russian Adoption Travel


Wow, two weeks from today ... I leave two weeks from today! It hardly seemsreal yet even though I check and recheck my various lists. Lists ofclothing for me and for Elizabeth, lists of dossier documents and otherpaperwork that I am to bring with me, lists of baby equipment like bottles,nipples, formula, lists of gifts to bring for the people in Siberia whowill help make this adoption happen.

Perhaps part of the reason it seems unreal is that is seems likedeja vu. It has been just about a year since I made the first adoptiontravel lists. My husband, Bob, and I are the proud parents of Emma JoyYuanMeng who was adopted in Nanchang, Jiangxi Province, China on 6/24/96.We are now preparing to bring home a little sister for Emma. ElizabethAnastasia is waiting in Surgut, Khanty-Mansyiisk, Russia to become part ofour family.

There are many things about the two trips that will be the same,and probably just as many that will be different. When I compare what Iknow at this point I am tempted to say "same process, different country"but already I know that it will seem very different. The most obviousdifference is our adoption agency. They have been wonderful about lettingus know what to do when and how to go about it. We were among the last ofthe families allowed to adopt independently in China. There was nobody toask questions of except other families who had already come home with theirchildren. After talking to some of them and reading everything we couldfind, we submitted our dossier directly to the Ministry of Justice inBeijing. People are always amazed when I tell them that. The response isinvariably, "You just asked the Chinese government for a baby??" I laugh,feeling slightly embarrassed somehow, and say "Yes, we did!"

Ni hao and Preevyet

Traveling in China was quite an adventure done independently. Myhusband was unable to travel because of recent back surgery, so I went toAsia accompanied by a girlfriend. Two American women landed in Hong Kong,then Guangzhou, and Nanchang, knowing only how to say "Hello" and "Thankyou" in Chinese! The people we met during those twelve days were wonderful,almost without exception. If we stood somewhere looking lost or confused,someone would approach us to help. If they spoke no English, they wouldsignal us to wait and soon reappear with someone who did.

I have learned a little more Russian than Chinese. I can greetpeople appropriately any time of the day, can say "Please", "Thank you",You're Welcome", "Excuse me" and a few other useful phrases. I will travelwith a group of five families, two of whom I have talked with both on thetelephone and via e-mail, so although Bob will be staying home with Emma, Idon't feel as if I am going alone, or with strangers. Because the agencydoes the travel planning once I arrive in Russia, I know the names of thetranslators and coordinators who will meet me at the airport in Moscow andmake sure I get where I am going and know what to do once I get there. Iexpect it to be no less of an adventure, just one with fewer uncertainties.

Different Roads, Same Destination

The process to adopt Emma took fifteen months from end to end.Things have progressed much more quickly for Elizabeth's adoption. I willbe home with her in under six months from the time we applied to ouragency. As soon as I realized how quickly things were moving I startedlooking through my file on the China trip, knowing that I had saved mypacking list for Emma to have someday along with plane ticket stubs, CathayPacific in-flight menus, etc. The first thing that had to change was theclothing to take. Southern China in June is a far cry from Western Siberiain mid-April! Shorts and bathing suits quickly became long johns andturtlenecks. I have heard many tales of buildings being overheated duringthe colder months so I did leave on pair of shorts on the list to be wornwhile relaxing in our hotel room.

The hotels we stayed in during our China trip rivaled some of thewonderful places I have stayed over the years from Washington D.C. toHawaii. From what I have read and been told, the hotels I will stay induring my Russia trip will more resemble the boarding houses I have stayedin during weekend camps with our church youth group. Most folks recommendthat you expect to be "camping indoors". The water situation is the same inboth countries - don't drink anything from the tap and keep your mouthclosed in the shower. The water is clear in China which makes it very easyto forget, especially when you are brushing your teeth. In Russia the wateris brown so I have purchased a camping water filter. In both countries,bottled water is readily available but in Russia it is frequently salty andcarbonated, so I will be filtering and boiling my own while in Siberia. Iam also taking a couple of bath towels and rolls of toilet paper to caterto my American tastes in those items!

Food in China was wonderful, especially if you are an adventurouseater. I have lived on the east coast, in the southwest, and in Hawaii, soI have been exposed to the cuisines of many different cultures. I reallyenjoyed the variety to be found in China. I am looking forward to learningsomething about Russian cuisine next. Blini, caviar, borscht, what else? Ifeel woefully uneducated in so many things Russian. As I did for the Chinatrip, I am packing some food to be eaten in the hotel room ... oatmeal andbaby rice cereal for those mornings that Elizabeth and I don't feel likefacing the world first thing, (coffee bags for me!), granola bars andinstant ramen noodles for other times. I hope to see and experienceshopping for food in Russia. It has been described to me as a very limitedcommodity and it is one of the things I want to be able to tell Elizabethabout when she is older.

Some Things Never Change

I pack in large ziplocs in an effort to keep the suitcaseorganized. The ziploc of medications I took to China is sitting in thecloset in our upstairs bath. I will inventory its contents and replenishthem where needed. Many of the things I took to China I never used butwouldn't be willing to go without. I expect the same to be true for Russia.Western medicine is quite a bit different and I am comforted knowing that Ican treat most run-of-the-mill illnesses Elizabeth and I are likely tohave. My little portable medicine chest does include a few exotic itemslike Elimite for unwanted itchy hitchhikers, but most of the items arethose found in the average family's collection.

Gifts are the hardest things for me to decide upon. Buying forpeople I have never met and really don't know anything about is difficult.I have read the lists of suggestions compiled by those who have gone beforeme and am hoping to arrive with items that are appropriate and which therecipient does not already have a closet full of. Last year I traveled withYankee baseball hats and t-shirts. Little did I know when I bought them inMay that the Yanks would go on to win the World Series! I am working evenharder at keeping things as light as possible this time since I will haveto carry all of the luggage myself. Small and lightweight are the order ofthe day for my Russian trip.

Recording Precious Moments

Just before I departed for China, Bob and I acquired a videocamera. Six reels of film were shot for the trip, beginning with theluggage being loaded in the car at home. After our return we kept shootingand just before the holidays I edited some 12 hours of tape down to abouttwo hours and sent our story on video to friends and family who live toofar away to be able to see Emma. That tape met rave reviews and I am stillduplicating it upon request.

I have agonized over taking that camera to Russia and, thanks toone of the other families I will travel with, have decided reluctantly, butrelievedly, to leave it behind. They, having the advantage of four hands,will video tape the whole trip, including anything I request, and make me acopy upon our return to the U.S. I will carry a still camera and record asmuch as possible that way. It will not be the same, but I just can't seehow I can manage Elizabeth (who I know from the latest video does not havegood head control) and a video camera too.

There is also the crime issue to consider. Westerners are verysafe in China and can be careless with their belongings without too much tofear. That is not the case in Russia and I would not expect to find thecamera where I had left it if I didn't carry it along each and every timewe left the room. I will miss it most of all for the journal I had plannedto keep on video. I found that my good intentions of writing in my journalevery day in China soon fell by the wayside and had hoped to keep a betterrecord of thoughts, feelings, and events on tape.

Lists, lists, lists. They are interwoven in my mind with thedreams of my youngest daughter and the mental pictures I always carry ofher big sister. So, too, will things Chinese and Russian become a part ofour American way of life. We have decided to celebrate "Little Christmas"next year as well as Chinese New Year. We are truly becoming aninternational family with this journey. I have every hope of coming home asenamored of Russia and its people as I am of China and the Chinese. Bothare a very welcome addition to our family life.